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幽默女子语坊

特大字】 【大字】 【中字】 【小字

1、女生晒照的自我修养:自拍三千只取一张。

2、男人是不懂的时候装懂,女人是懂的时侯装不懂。

3、女神对土豪说:娶了我吧,那样我们的后代都是神的子女。

4、都说女人好色!女人好五种色:黄色周大福,白色苹果6,银色卡地亚,红色小陆虎,黑色小貂皮,彩色人民币!

5、男人去岳母家,岳父岳母大鱼大肉的款待,客客气气的,只希望女婿能对自己的闺女好点;女人去婆家,要跟着忙前忙后的,如果像客人一样坐着等招待,婆婆就会跟她儿子说:你这媳妇真懒!

6、好女人就像有理数,你知道有很多,而且随便就能举出一大堆,但是你知道吗——在数轴上随便戳一下,戳到有理数的概率近乎零。

7、每一个女生心里都住着两个小人,一个说她很漂亮,一个说她非常漂亮,这两个小人总是把她拉到镜子前照来照去看来看去不胜其烦。

8、当代优秀女人的标准:轿车一部,楼房三处,老公一正两副。正的料理家务,老二陪伴购物,小的暖被铺褥!还要有情人无数,晚上想在哪就在哪儿住。

9、女生的体香都是香水腌出来的,男生的体香都是肥皂擦出来的。

10、女孩所说的“大叔”,是指帅气、温和、稳重、清爽、身材依然很棒、帅气、事业有成、睿智、帅气、善于倾听、依然相信爱情、稍微有一些岁月的沉淀、但依然还很帅气的男人。和“35-50岁的男性人类”不是一种生物。


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